My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
