how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
