I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
They took my balls.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
