So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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