I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
