So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
