that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize