I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Dear god my vagina.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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