if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
