You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
there was a trapeze. enough said
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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