i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
