i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
