don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
