Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize