I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
