the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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