didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
