hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
And then he peed in my hair
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