I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
