I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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