the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
