But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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