Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
