I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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