Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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