He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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