in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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