Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
