Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
