I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
