"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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