Four minutes until I can fart!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize