You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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