you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
