Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
