When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
