Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
