I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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