I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
