Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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