your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
