I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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