the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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