wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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