Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
