I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
