you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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