she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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