My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
