Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
