I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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