glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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