She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
