In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I would fuck him just for his dog
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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