Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
