you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize