How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
