yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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