the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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