When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
