? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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