did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
