I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
